There is a particular kind of argument that stops being about the argument approximately nine minutes in. You know the one. It starts with something relatively straightforward. “You said you’d call.” “I did call.” “No, you didn’t.” “Yes, I did.” “You texted.” “That counts.” “No, it absolutely does not.” And suddenly you’re presenting Exhibit A,

I know. It sounds like something printed on a mug by someone who has never encountered a problem. You have to feel good to feel good. Thank you, Skye. Groundbreaking. But stay with me, because it actually is. I spent a lot of my life doing the opposite. Like most of us, I had a

IT’S NOT THINK POSITIVE. IT’S FEEL POSITIVE. There is a particular kind of misery available only to people who are already feeling terrible and then decide they’re also doing feeling terrible incorrectly. You’re upset. Then you remember you’re supposed to think positive. Fantastic. Now you’re upset and failing at personal development. So you try harder.

FIND SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT THAT DOESN’T SUCK. We are remarkably loyal to thoughts that make us miserable. We’ll find a story that makes us feel terrible and think: Yes. This one. Let’s play it another 47 times. Then we replay the conversation. Explain what happened. Imagine what we should have said. Imagine what they

Imagine you’re standing in a room. It is completely dark. Not oh, my eyes will adjust in a minute dark. Pitch black. You can’t see your hand in front of your face. You know there’s a door somewhere, and you would very much like to leave. So how do you get there? You could stand

My brother once ate my pie. Not just any pie. My pie. The pie I had been defrosting from frozen solid, and then cooking until piping hot in the microwave for 10 minutes. The pie I was looking forward to. The pie that, as far as I was concerned, had my name spiritually engraved across